Implantation Day!

Today was just fantastic! At about 9:30 this morning I got a call from the embryologist Alison. She said 13 of our embryos went to blastocyte stage! She said she never sees that and they look just "Beautiful!" This is ultimately twice as many as we were hoping for. So they sent us home with two... and froze 9 today.. two have another day to grow, hopefully to freeze tomorrow. That's 11 in safe keeping for the future! Here are a picture of the two they put in today. Aren't they so cute?!?!  Baby's first picture. I cried when I saw them for the first time on the screen.

So My appointment was at 1:15, Aaron came home from work early and drove me. On the way I drank a bottle of water so to have a full bladder for the ultrasounds and procedure.  When we got there they brought me and Aaron back to the special secret rooms again. They put me in a gown again with booties. They rolled me into the op room again and turned on the big light to illuminate my lady parts. (lovely) And in about 5 minutes these sweet embryos were inside. Dr. Barbieri said it couldn't have gone better and she is super optimistic.
For the rest of the day and tomorrow, and Wednesday afternoon I am to lay down... only to get up to pee... So here I lay on my bed with my lap top on my chest..
I am so very humbled and grateful for this wonderful experience. To have a possibility of carrying a child after 10 years of trying is miraculous. Needless to say I've done lots of happy crying today. :)

Day 4 Embryos

So tomorrow I go in. My appointment is at 1:15.. I have specific instructions on meds, and arrival time. Water etc. I'm hoping all will be well. Today the embryos are at day 4, they should have around 16 or more cells and becoming a solid ball before they are blastocysts.. tomorrow. Aaron and i will find out tomorrow how many made it to this final stage, of them which two we will put in and take home! lol We will also know tomorrow how many they will freeze for the future! So, tomorrow is a a big day.
When I get home I'll be on my back for... a while.. until wednesday afternoon I think. :)
Getting things ready for my "rest".

3 Day Embryos

So I found this picture on the internet of what 3 day old embryos look like. Our embryos today should look a little like this. About 8 cells. I'm super excited and praying all is well with them. I know they are in good hands. Looking forward to taking care of them myself. :) 2 more days.
I must say that preparing my insides (progesterone suppositories) is not fun! Messy and makes me a little nauseous. Here's to good growth!

Positive Note

So just a note for today... They've asked me to weigh myself each morning to be sure I'm not gaining wait, and guess what? I'm Loosing! LOL. I've lost 3 pounds since retrieval. I'm feeling much better too! I'm not kidding myself though.. I know it's just water weight and the Eggs they took out :)
Today I start an drug called estrace, it's for regulating pregnancy hormones. Along with some more antibiotics to prevent infection from the retrieval and a steroid called medrol.  I'm also starting the progesterone suppositories today... fun. :p.

Pins and Needles

I slept much better last night, cuddling with my hubby is the best medicine to a very sore body. I'm still sore today, but definitely more mobile. 
I waited patiently by the phone this morning for Oregon Reproductive's call. At exactly 9:32 the embryologist called with the results. We have 18 fertilized eggs! I said "wow!" and she said "Yeah, thats a LOT!" I'm super syked that everything is working so smoothly. She then said that typically half will make it all the way to the blastocyte 5 day mark where they put them in. That means 9 embryos! 2 to go in (on Monday) and 7 to freeze! We'll see how it goes. We'll get more results I think Friday on how they are doing.
I've continued on my special diet to prevent hyperstemulation and things are going well. I haven't gained the tell tell wait, or gotten overly bloated or in serious pain. I've continued on all the fluids and made sure I have an extremely limited amount of sugars and high starches.
I'm so grateful for all the help and support I've gotten so far in this process especially from my Heavenly Father and my wonderful Hubby. :)

Retrieval!

I'll start from the beginning... Which is actually each hour of the night.. I was up thinking I had overslept.. panicked and anxious. But by about 4 am, I was up for good. I laid there until about 5 and then got up to take a long shower, shaved my legs and slowly got ready. I needed the extra time 'cus I was moving slowly anyway. :) By bestie Shanae came over at 6 am to take over the kids and get them on the bus. We left at 6:15 for ORM. I was upset because I had completely forgot yesterday to wash my comfy yoga pants, and the only other pants that are that comfy (and clean) didn't match anything else. Oh well, it's not like I was wearing the stuff during the important part of the day. :) We got there right on time at 7 am. They led me, Aaron and Mommy to the back of the office and through special secret doors to the operating area. I felt all special to finally see this area. They immediately took my weight (not so fond of that!) and stuck me in a hospital gown. The right arm try for the IV didn't work.. so they poked again on the left. I'm definitely not scared of needles by now, so no biggy. I talked to the anesthesiologist and we was super awesome and friendly. Answered all of my questions. Dr. Hesla was the operating dr. on rotation. Super nice to have the best of the best do his stuff. Here is a picture of me waiting.. can you tell I'm excited?

They had me pee all hooked to the water saline solution and then walked me into the big dark room with monitors. I laid on the table and they had me scoot around and position me, while they were doing that the anesthesiologist said you feeling anything yet? And suddenly I felt fuzzy, the nurse said lift your leg please like this, I did and then I remember nothing else... until I hear Aaron's voice saying "26 eggs!!" I'm laying again in the recovery room where I put on the hospital gown. And I start bawling.. 26 eggs! It takes me a bit to get my barings. Apparently it took me a long while to come around because I don't remember how long Aaron had to leave to give his donation just after I came to, and come back 20 minutes later. The nurse told them that some people take advantage of the crazy talking with no memory (Cus I was talking crazy funny) and so Aaron asked me "What is your deepest darkest secret?"( I swear I don't remember this) And I answered "I'm in love with Aaron Harward!" They laughed and told me about it later. I guess that's my worst secret :).
The nurse then came in to give me some water and more instructions. We did a run down of the meds I need to take, what I can and can't do (I can't really do anything) She then said what appointments they have set for me. Tomorrow they will call me and let me know how many of the 26 eggs got  fertilized.
So today we conceived our future children! I have the beginnings of my babies growing and it feels amazing!
I am super sore and can't move much. I'm keeping hydrated and peeing every hour but for the most part I'm stationary on the couch.
So more updates tomorrow!

Loosing My Mind...

So with the hormone levels as high as they are, my mind, and body are not even close to a cohesive pair anymore. Last night I left out my milk on the counter wasting the entire thing... This morning in the shower I couldn't remember if I had just shampooed my hair... so I did it again... I think.
The anxiety is super high as I contemplate going into surgery tomorrow morning. I've never had surgery before, the only thing close to this is when I had my wisdom teeth pulled.... and that was terrible!
Good News... I'm officially on the second calendar ORM game me. So here is the meds and fun stuff I'll be doing in this crazy IVF journey over the next month... Notice: My Prego test should be on the 9th! It's so close... and yet so far :) 

I think probably the hardest part about all of this is having this secret to keep from most of my friends and family. The support and prayers would be awesome. I know though that if this all doesn't work out the pity and questions would be too much to bare. So if your reading this after the fact, you know why I couldn't tell you yet.. but if your reading this now, thank you so much for your prayers and support!

I'll write more as I can after surgery. :)

Dr. Visit 5

Today was the big day. I went in at 10:45 and saw my awesome Dr. Barbieri. She did the ultrasound and measured several follicles and the biggest ones were 18.5! So, I'm there! She says she anticipates getting 20 awesome eggs. (Which they say is a lot) They did my blood work and it came back at 5123! Which is over the limit, so I am at  high risk for hyperstemulation... which isn't good. They said to not take the menepure or follistem today. And My trigger shot (the shot that stimulates ovulation) will be tonight at 8:45. They only want me to take half that dose so as to help prevent the hyperstemulation. I'm ordered to take tons of water and Gatorade. Plus no sugars or white starches, lots of protein etc. If H. happens they would have to freeze the embryos and come back to implant them when I get better. I don't want that, lets do it now! So my retrieval day is wednesday at 7 in the morning. Super excited and nervous. I called my mom and she will be here for me, and my dad will come and give me a blessing with Aaron tuesday night. I hope all will be ok and move smoothly. I know Heavenly Father will prepare a way for this to work out ok.

One cool thing Dr. Barbieri said today: she said the way I feel bloated and pressure wise right now is how I will feel when I'm 12 weeks prego. Happy thought. :)

Dr. Visit 4

Yesterday, Saturday was my 4th Dr. Visit. Because it was a weekend I got to meet another dr. on call. His name is Dr. Hesla. World renowned for his work with infertility. This guy has a waiting list over a year long to be his patient. I was honored to meet him... but his bedside manor was lacking... Perhaps it was what he told me that upset me. My follicles are growing great, the biggest one was at a 16.. and I have about 16 on each side.. thats 32 total! My blood work came back at 1990!! (Normal highest peak levels of estrogen in a woman's cycle is around 500) They told me to lower my follistem dose to 50 and keep everything else the same. I was told at the dr. office to go get another vial of menopure. $80 dollars later I'm home and I get a call from ORM with my blood work and they say don't take that vial, just bring it in to my appointment on Monday. They may instruct me on the trigger shot then and I might not need it. Nice.
 I told Dr. Hesla that I was ready to not be so bloated (gained some weight, can't fit in pants, super uncomfortable bending etc) He told me that the bloating wont go away.... WHAT?!  Apparently even after they take all the fluid and eggs it doesn't go down, and then even during the 2 week wait the meds will keep that from happening... He then said the bloating will (obviously) continue once I'm pregnant.. but if I don't get pregnant, it will be about a week for my body to go back to normal.... Lovely. I cried a bit.. I've been mourning my body and the loss of it's normalcy. I had to go to walmart and pick up some extra large pants.. I had to get a size I have never bought before.. I'm the biggest I've ever been, I don't care that it's water retention and growing ovaries. (Can you tell I'm an emotional crazy person?).. Okay.. done venting. ...  I am super happy that everything is moving smoothly. Looking forward to Monday.

Dr. Visit 3

So my appointment with Dr. Barbieri went well today. Once again they measured the follicles. The biggest ones were about a 12, they're looking for them to get to be at 18...  We we're almost there. My estrogen levels were huge at 890! Told Aaron at lunch today I feel like melon balling my eyes out. Feels like my emotions are dripping from my finger tips. Holding my tongue is getting harder and harder. Lol.
I'm always learning new things about this process and so what I thought was going to happen has changed a bit. I found out that there is an entire day between the trigger shot (ovulation) and my surgery retrieval. So the calendar looks a little different. So, depending on my appointment set for Saturday at 7:30 in the morning, (yuck) I may need to go back Sunday for the trigger and have the retrieval Tuesday, or if things are ok then they will do the trigger Monday with the retrieval Wednesday. The good news is that extra day in between has NO Shots! It'll be a good day :)

Dr Visit 2

 

Today was my second dr. visit checkup for measuring follicles and blood work. I took a picture with my phone of the ultrasound. This is the right side now measuring 10 follicles and they're looking good I'd say! She said they are exactly where they need to be, not growing too quick. My left side has 16! So that's great news. We've let the kids in on the secret, so they can understand why mommy is feeling yucky, and grumpy a bit. I showed them this picture and explained that the doctors are helping me grow eggs inside my belly so we can have a baby. They got all excited. Egan later said as I was putting him to bed tonight. "What are they going to do with the eggs?" I said they will mix part of Daddy and Mommy's Eggs together to make a teeny baby and then put them back inside mommy to grow. His eyes got so big and said "I hope Daddy doesn't get hurt!" I laughed. "Nope, Daddy wont feel a thing." LOL

My blood work came back just right today too. On Sunday my estrogen was at 90, a little low, so that's why they upped the follistem. Today it measured at over 300! Right on track... but boy do I feel it. Emotional is not a word strong enough to describe it.  

Last night I went to target to get myself a pair of yoga pants that I can wear for better comfort for my appointments. I'm feeling very bloated in the area, and just want to keep things loose. I love having an excuse to wear pj type clothes!

Because they upped my follistem dosage I needed to go to the pharmacy to pick up another vile of follistem. This teeny vile is about the size of my pinky, fits inside a syringe pen, and is only about 1/2 full of medicine. But the thing is around $300. Once again today I was humbled and so very thankful for the amazing generosity of a special someone whom I will never be able to thank... 

My next appointment is Thursday... Same time in the morning. Hope all continues to go well!

Dr Visit 1

Today was the first of many checks on my follicles that are growing my eggs on my ovaries. I got up super early for an appointment at 8 am at ORM. It was a lot busier then I thought it would be. Apparently the weekends are just as busy as during the week! But I guess cycles wait for no one. :)
The ultrasound technician did the vaginal ultrasound and counted the the follicles and measured them. I have 14 on the left and 8 on the right! She said that was a good number, and that there were some that will grow that she hasn't seen yet. They measured a good size and so all is well. I'm doing the drugs right! I then got my blood drawn again to measure my estrogen. They called and gave me the results just a few hours later and let me know its looking good and they are going to keep me on the same dose of Menopure (thank heavens, that one hurts!) and they are upping the follistem by 30%. Fun fun... this means I will need to get to the pharmacy after my next visit to get some more..
Kindof a weird sunday.. It's stake conference and the kids tend to be way too wild for a two hour meeting and so Aaron and I trade off for who gets to go. It was his turn this time. Lucky Duck :)
Oh another weird thing happened today. When I got in the van this morning to go to the appt, I heard my dr. Dr. Barbieri on the radio! She was doing an interview (obviously prerecorded) but it was cool to hear her voice and have her talk about the success of the clinic and why she loves doing what she does. Its was cool to be headed there with confidence.
I've been feeling crampy, big headaches and I have to pee all the time because of growing pressure, and because I need to drink lots of fluids to prevent hyerstemulation. I'm worried about bending or twisting.. my nurse told me that if I do a lot of jostling the Fallopian tubes and become twisted with the bloated ovaries on the ends loosing blood flow...  so I sit and type...
But overall.. A good day :)

The Big Guns

Today I started the day with an HUGE injection of Menopure.. It wasn't that the needle was big, it was just a large amount of fluid going in. Up until now I've been injecting .1ml of Lupron.. this mornings Menopure was 1ml. Just a little bruised in the area. I will continue to take Menopure as long as the Dr. recommends.(between 9-12 days)
I'm also taking for the first time tonight Follistim. It comes with an injector pen. This with the Menopure are supposed to make my ovaries grow lots of eggs to harvest. Side effects say irritability, and difficulty sleeping... :) Besides a little headache.. I feel fine.. so far :) I'm also still taking asprin, dexamethazone (sterioid) and my prenatals. 
Its nice that it's friday. Aaron has the day off tomorrow! It'll be nice to have some family time.

Suppression Check

Today was my suppression check appointment. Basically the Doctor does an ultrasound to check to make sure all my insides are suppressed and working to their liking for the big drugs to start working. They also do blood work to confirm that my estrogen is suppressed enough. My appointment was at 9:45 my good friend Shanae put the kids on the bus for me so I could get there on time. The traffic was crazy, but I made it. I was so nervous for some reason, thinking my body might not have responded like they hoped.... I said a prayer in the van before I went in and took a few deep breaths. (those vaginal ultrasounds are NEVER fun).
In the waiting room it was the most packed I'd ever seen it.. there was about 6-8 women waiting.... All in different levels of the process, there was a couple filling out paperwork for their first appointment, and a women in her pjs apparently going in to get her eggs harvested that day. There was an older couple who sat close together whispering. I felt very blessed to be able to be apart of such an amazing clinic who does such a good job. ORM is awesome and in the top 10 fertility clinics in the US!
So when it was my turn everything went smoothly.. infact so smooth I was in and out in about 45 minutes!
All my questions were answered by my personal nurse Genevieve. She's amazing. I'll be able to color my hair tonight ( I was worried about that!) She also gave me some light exercise ideas I can do. I'll be walking a bunch :) All my tests came out perfect. I'm suppressed just where I should be and I'm on track to start the big drugs to stimulate all the eggs to grow on friday!
We changed my appointment days to correlate better with my drugs calendar. My next appointment is Sunday at 8 in the morning before church. It's so crazy that the clinic is open on the weekends.
Here's to a good day :)

Doxycyline

So today Aaron and I have taken our very last Antibiotics.. these help to make sure we have no infections/bacteria for the big day of retrieval. So glad to be off of them for a while.. make my tummy hurt. I have some left over for me to take after the retrieval for just-in-case stuff too.
Feeling pretty good today. Got all the laundry done and ran a few errands. Yeah for another day checked off the calendar!

Aunt Flo

Today it started.. yup that dreaded period.. the good news is it could very possibly be my last one for a long long time :) So, I'm gonna milk it for all it's worth! Ha!
So because I can't exercise for a while I decided to pump up the tunes and clean house today. It got my heart rate up just a bit and I now have a clean house (for the moment). It's been nice to have the kids gone and finally get some stuff done! So overall today is a good day.
Wednesday is the Suppression check.... blood work and ultra sound. fun fun...

bleh...

Today had been a difficult day. It was my very last Zumba class for a long while. I'm not supposed to exercise twist, invert, jump or get my heart rate over 140 anytime after my suppression check appointment on wednesday.. so my Zumba class is only on fridays..(I do my own routines on mondays and wednesdays) so today was my last class. *Tear* I actually taught a routine I choreographed today too. Zumba helps me feel good about myself and gives me the endorphins to be happy... going without zumba/exercise will be one of the hardest parts of this process..... well except for maybe going under anesthesia and the waiting! :)
I've been feeling super icky.. sore, groggy, and in an emotional fog... I think, no, I know I've gained wait since being on birth control. That doesn't help either I'm sure.
So now I'm done venting... just wanted to share my feelings of the day. :)

Birth Control

Today is my last day on birth control.. boy am I glad of it. I think I've gained some weight because of it, and I've been ultra emotional. So, I will be expecting my period in just a few days... if all goes well this will be my very last period for a very long time :)
I've been tired, headachey and sluggish..... here's hoping tomorrow's a better day.

April 3

So, I've been on the meds now for 3 days. Let me tell you, it's been interesting.
I'm not one of those people who takes a lot of meds... in fact I only dose up with some ibuprofen that one day a month when it's necessary, (ladies you know what I mean) so to have aspirin, birth control, prenatal s, antibiotics, suppression shots and steroids in my system all the time... I can FEEL it. My body is ultra tired.. it feels kind of like right before you get sick and your body is fighting off something. I'm tired, anxious and fidgety. I'm not doing too good at focusing or getting much done. Of course it doesn't help that it's spring break and the kids are home. :)
I was worried about Aaron and his endless allergies to most all medications, but he doesn't have any effects to the antibiotics he's taking. Thank heavens!  I get a little nauseous when I take them in the am.
I've been torturing myself today... I watched half an episode of the Baby Story on TLC... I stopped watching that several years ago, it just got too hard to watch. Now, though, I'm interested in seeing it again, and seeing what women are going through. I've also looked at the few maternity clothes on ebay and old navy... want to use my birthday gift cards... but It's definitely too early to be shopping for that stuff.  In fact I've told myself that I will buy NOTHING baby or maternity until I get a positive pregnancy test.... Here's hopin... come on May~

It Starts Today!

With Anxiety and excitement I started the meds today.  Last night Aaron and I sat together planning the exact times I'll be taking each medication and setting timers and reminders on my phone to make sure nothing gets forgotton. Here is a picture of my medication calandar. Each line on each day represents a different drug.

I woke up at 7 am to start the antibiotics... I now know I need to make sure I have food with them.. boy was my tummy upset! Aaron has to take these too. They are to help make sure there is no infection/bacteria in our bodies (for both of our donations) when the time comes for the retrieval and implantation.

I cannot have any milk products within 2 hours of taking the antibiotics, so I wait this morning to take have a bowl of cereal. I am then able to take birth control, (I've been on these for about 2 weeks already, this is to help control my cycle) And then I took my prenatals, (also been taking these for a long while). At this point I take the asprin as well. These are for help with discomfort.. its a low dose, but something I have to take everyday. 

Tonight after the kids go to bed I'll be giving myself my first shot of Lupron. Lupron prevents the usual hormone exchange that causes follicle prodution and ovulation.  This helps my doctors control exactly when I will ovulate. I'll also take my night time dose of the antibiotic too (aaron too).

At bedtime I'll be taking Dexamethasone, its a low dose steroid that suppresses the productions of androgen hormones and has beneficial effects on egg quality.

I'll be following this plan for the next few days. On thursday, I'll stop the birth control and wait for my period. 

Here is a picture of all the drugs to be taken over the next month or so. It's so daunting, but such a miracle! Let me tell you, the price tag for just these drugs was huge. I'm so grateful for the gift from someone so kind, and from our Heavenly Father to make this possible.

Today we get to listen to the General Conference. My joy is full and am so happy for this opportunity.