14 Weeks!

Today was my 14 week visit with the Dr. I was so nervous that I was getting a bit light headed. I guess it didn't help that it was lunch time. :) Within a few short minutes she put me on the table and found the heartbeat pretty quick this time with the doppler! Good and Strong. Relief flooded over me and I've been on a happy high all day. So glad all is well!
Above is a picture we took sunday.. I think I've finally beaten Aaron :) The shirt I wore emphasizes it a bit, and the buttons down the front added extra bulk. More pictures with 18 week ultrasound and baby's sex in 4 weeks!

Abundant Blessings

Its been a crazy few days, but I'll start by saying all is well! 

On Monday the 2nd I went in to see my OB Dr Culburt for the very first time. I was so sick with nervousness that I almost threw up in the waiting area. There were several pregnant ladies waiting. It felt so good to finally be apart of that group! 

Once I got in she immediately talked to me about my nausea and said she will put me on a type of sleeping pill called unisom plus vitamin B6. She said it should help. We then talked about ORM and the process I went through. She was so kind and interested. She then had me lay down to listen to Baby's heartbeat with the doppler... I was so nervous and anxious. She couldn't find the heartbeat at all. I started crying and freaking out. She said "don't you worry, it's likely my fault, lets go take a look at your baby" She kicked out her nurse setting up the ultrasound machine in another room for another patient and immediately put me on the table and found the baby. Baby pea was moving so much! Turning and twisting, sitting up and laying down. She said because baby was moving so much that's why she couldn't get a heartbeat with the Doppler and he happened to be sitting low. She tried hard to get a good still picture, but pea wasn't up for holding still. The ink ran out on the machine, so I just a took a picture of the screen with my phone. What you see in the picture is baby facing away from you, with the face up at the left. Just so darn cute! 

So because I've made it to 12 weeks the chances of miscarriage have gone down considerably and I can breath a huge sigh of relief! Thank heaven for answered prayers!

I was so happy and thrilled that I decided to go ahead and take the kids across the state to a 4 day family reunion without Aaron, camping! It was so great visiting with family that I neglected my body signals and preceded to get sicker until the last night at 3 in the morning ( i swear the whole camp heard me) I lost all the junk food plus I had injested the entire 4 days. Let me just say I will never EVER eat clam dip with ruffles again. TMI? Probably, but it's my blog. Hah! 

Even though I still feel sick and hugely tired I am grateful for the continued signs of pregnancy that remind me of the little blessing growing inside.

A Day of Loss

On Friday I had my last visit with Oregon Reproductive Medicine. It was the kids' last day of school and things were hectic. I left over an hour early and ended up getting there late due to insane traffic and almost running out of gas. Aaron decided to surprise me and meet me at the office. I'm so happy he showed up. I wouldn't have handled what came next without him. Upon getting on the table and putting my feet in the stirrups my Dr. Started the ultrasound, her demeanor changed within a few seconds after her search for baby A. She said, "lets try for baby B first". We were thrilled to hear a very strong hear beat and a moving strong baby B. (Can you see the arms and legs?)

She went back to baby A and said, I'm so sorry, but baby A does not have a heartbeat. She measured and said the baby stopped growing sometime in the week. Shocked she proceeded to tell us that this happens a lot. And there was nothing I could have done. If a baby has a chromosome abnormality it will stop growing by about the 8 week mark. She said that she isn't worried about baby B, and that she is comfortable releasing me to my regular OB. Tears and frustration inevitably followed. We had gotten so used to the idea of twins, planning on matching blue eyes and jungle print clothes.
After a good cry, a long chat with my mom, comforting cuddles with my hubby and some research on what happened, I have started to feel a bit better. Apparently there is a term for what we've been through. It's called Vanishing Twin. Most people don't know they have twins growing, in fact they barely know they're pregnant at this point in pregnancy. The twin doesn't make it due to the abnormalities before they even realize there were two. We were very lucky to know so early because of the close watchful eyes of our fertility clinic.
I feel so blessed to have a life growing in me still and remain prayerful that he or she continues to grow.
The reason why we didn't let anyone know we were going through the whole process to begin with was to avoid pity and questions when/if things didn't work out. We ask for your prayers for the continual growth of baby B, and not for the "are you ok?" questions. We appreciate your concern, but this is how we deal and process.

A Letter of Thanks

Friday was hard for more than one reason, the fact that I would likely not see the people at Oregon Reproductive for a very long time, or be comforted by their services really tugged at my heartstrings. They took such good care of me I couldn't just leave without letting them know how I felt. With a card, I prepared this letter.

Everyone at Oregon Reproductive Medicine,

Words cannot describe the gratitude I feel for your amazing service and kindness. Throughout our time with you we have felt so well taken care of. You have given us an amazing gift and have done it with class as professionals and what can only be described as friendship.

This morning I cried thinking that today could be my last appointment with you for a very long time. It is bitter sweet. I will miss you!

Thank you to my “Shoe Buddy” who knew me by site and always made me comfortable while she took my blood.

Thank You Nurses for your kind reassuring friendliness.

Thank You Dr. Barbieri for your positive, professional manner and for your expertise in making our dreams become reality.

Thank you Genevieve. You are incredible. The sound of your voice always made me feel comfortable and at ease with each step of this crazy hard process. Your compassion and friendship have meant so much. I feel as if I’m saying goodbye to a dear friend and not just my nurse.

Thank you embryologists who have taken and will continue to take fantastic care of the little bits of us that make up what is most important in our lives. Our family.

Thank you to all the staff who always greeted me with a smile. I know you see hundreds of people a week and have so many services but I always felt special and important.

My experience with ORM will not be forgotten.

THANK YOU with all my heart,

Time Flies...

when your having fun... or when your sick and eating all day long. From what I've read and what my nurse has told me I need to eat an extra 300 calories a day per baby. On top of my regular 2000 caloric diet. That's 2600 calories every 24 hours. That's 325 calories every 2 hours I'm awake.. This is crazy.. and my body will get sick and super nauseous if this doesn't happen. So I have this timer on my phone so every time I eat I re set it for 1 hr 45 min to remember to eat again. Insane much?! This isn't complaining.. just letting you all know one of those random things a pregnant mother of two goes through. :) Oh and apparently the fatigue is supposed to be doubled too..... "so that's why I had a two hr nap today on the couch and still feel like going to bed at 7:30".. lol

So on Friday I went back for another ultrasound appt. It's so cool I get to see babies so early and so often! Here is a picture of both babies:

You can almost see the profile of baby B.. or at least what looks like one. Baby A was floating softly super easy to measure.. but baby B was all spiratic and all over the place... makes me think about what their personalities will end up like. :)
I'm now just over 8 weeks along and the babies are about the size of a kidney bean each with good little sacks around them. My waist line grew a half an inch over the week... nice.. :) My next appt will be friday the 15th. I will then be released to my regular OB. Super excited!

Double the Trouble

We've had a blast this week letting all our family and friends know of our news. Most responses are shock, then disbelief and then big smiles. We are so grateful for all the love ans support!
I didn't think being pregnant was going to hit me as hard as it has. The fatigue is probably the worst. Getting anything done during the day takes massive amounts of will power and then in the evenings I'm sleeping by 10 and dragging myself out of bed in time to get the kids on the bus at 8:50. I've figured out that if I eat every hr to 2 hrs (something substantial, not just a piece of fruit) The nausea is avoided... but if I don't it hits me hard, and then I don't want to eat. The books say that with twin pregnancies, I need to eat an extra 600 calories a day!!! I have yet to reach that goal on top of my regular diet because there isn't much that sounds appetizing.. Sugar definitely is not my friend. No ice cream, candy, chocolate, cake, etc. It's sad. I'm not a fan of chicken, or rice.. potatoes not so much either. So finding the calories I can handle have been difficult. One thing I do like... Burgers! Red meat is always a good thing in my book. :)  But more than one a week is a little much.
So, because the babies are sitting one in front of the other, and I'm still very bloated from all the meds they had me on, plus others I'm still on.. I'm already showing! This is ultra fun, not many would notice, in fact I just look chunky right now, but I have definitely grown out of my regular pants.

My super good friend got me this shirt when I was going through the treatments and said "I'm gonna keep it in my closet until we know your having twins :)" She was super optimistic, and right! I LOVE the shirt! Really the best shirt I've ever owned. Here is a picture of me waring it, with my belly. It says "There's two peas in my pod." Here's to Best friends and my two Peas!

TWINS!!!

 

So this morning I was so nervous about the ultrasound test that I threw up for the first time, just after breakfast. Lovely. Nerves. So I left an hour early, (because I'm anal like that) and it's a good thing I did because there was a huge crash on 1-5 that slowed down traffic to close to a stand still... took me the whole time to get there. Just on time. Aaron met me there, took a long lunch. I waited on the table pant-less for what seemed like forever and the Dr. came in and shook my hand as if he totally knew what he was going to find. I immediately saw the two bubbles flicker on the screen and started crying. He said "Looks like there are two!"

 He then measured baby A and then was able to zoom in to a beating heart beat... and then he turned on the sound!! I heard the heart beat!

He then proceeded to go after baby B.. this baby is further back kind of behind the other baby, so its harder to see, but the baby measured at exactly the same size and the heart rate was exactly the same as baby A. He said that they are a little small, but the heart rates look great and strong. I will go in again for an ultrasound next Friday to see how they are growing. Probably bringing home more pictures! We are thrilled and so grateful for this miraculous gift we have been given from Heavenly Father. Egan and Evelyn were so funny, they knew I had the appointment today and when they got off the bus they were asking about it.. when we got inside I showed Egan the picture and he yelled "TWO BABIES! I KNEW IT!" He'd been praying for two for the last month now. His little testimony I'm sure has grown as ours have on how Heavenly Father answers our prayers.
I've been on cloud nauseous nine all day!  Calling everyone who knew about the appointment and now preparing this blog to go public. So here it is. For some of you reading this, this may be your first visit to my blog, and this is the first entry you read. This is certainly not the end of posting our story, but it is a happy ending to our ivf journey.. for now :) Feel free to start from the beginning and also read about the amazing gift that made it all possible.